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For over a decade, David Tian, Ph.D., has coached tens of thousands of people from over 87 countries to achieve happiness and success in their dating and love lives.

Once a nerdy, skinny professor of philosophical psychology who couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life, David is now director of Aura Transformation Corp., and a world renowned dating and life coach using therapeutic methods.

Dr. Tian has been featured in international media, including AXN, Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, as well as co-hosting a radio show on national radio and a weekly dating advice column in a national newspaper in Singapore.

The show, “Man Up: Masculinity for the Intelligent Man ( is David’s way of helping as many people as possible enjoy empowering and fulfilling lives, while contributing to the global understanding of masculinity in modern times. In the show, he takes your questions posed in the Man Up private Facebook group ( and answers based on his experience coaching ( tens of thousands of students around the world for over a decade.”

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In this episode, I answer the question: What do you text a woman you’ve just slept with?

[Intro music]

Masculinity for the Intelligent Man. I am David Tian, Ph.D., and this is: Man Up.

[Fade music]

All right, welcome to episode 14. We’ve got another question from Matthew. It’s a quickie: What does a real man text to a woman he’s just slept with the next morning?

Scenario A, he wants to see her again.

Scenario B, probably doesn’t want to see her again but he doesn’t want to be a douche bag and just not text her again. Thanks. Okay, cool. That’s a pretty straight forward question: What should you text a woman you just slept with if you like her, if you don’t like her.

If you like her, if you want to see her again – actually if you’ve just slept with each other and it’s the next morning one of the best things you can do is just to solidify that connection. One of the worst feelings a girl gets – if you gave her a great time in bed and you connected and all that stuff, if you don’t want her to feel bad about what just happened – just don’t treat her like a prostitute.

If she has to right after sex, roll out of bed, put her clothes on and do the walk of shame out the door and you’re just like, “Oh hey, bye,” – you’re going to make her feel cheap. But if you’re attentive and you don’t just kick her out or anything. Or if you’re at her place, you don’t just roll off and put your clothes on and walk out. As long as you don’t do that like, wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am kind of approach then you should be fine. Because this is the modern world, these are modern times and adults understand these dynamics. It’s just the first encounter; you don’t expect marriage yet out of that for most modern people.

An easy thing to do if you want more, if you want to suss out whether she would be interested in having more of a relationship with you then after you have sex you can go do something else. After you have sex, in the morning – or after you have sex maybe in the morning or right after sex, if it’s early morning, you can go and get some food. Like some supper, Singaporeans call it, or an early breakfast together and then send her off, send her home, make sure she gets home.

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